When we first began the journey to the farm I thought that this was it. This would be where we would spend the rest of our lives. This was going to be the forever home I always dreamed of having. What I should have learned by now is that life never goes as planned. Living here was an amazing experience and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. But what we learned was that we don’t want to stay settled for too long. This isn't going to be goodbye forever, because Dill Farms will always be our home base. But for now, it is a see-ya-later.
“One life on this earth is all that we get, whether it is enough or not enough, and the obvious conclusion would seem to be that at the very least we are fools if we do not live it as fully and bravely and beautifully as we can." -Fredrick Buechner
The call to Arizona began when the call to Colorado ended. We always talked about Colorado being our next stop. Marc was determined for us to end up there; Aurora was his childhood home. But it didn't feel right. It felt forced. It felt like everything we had just left behind. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Colorado. I love the mountains and the endless sunshine. How can anyone not? But when we pulled up to check out our potential new city it took everything in me to hold back the tears. I wanted to like it. I really did. Marc got to choose our next city, and his heart was set on Ft. Collins. At this point in our relationship, Marc can read me like an open book. He knew I wasn't having it, and he looked crushed. It broke my heart. But if Colorado was where he wanted to be, Colorado was where we were going to go. He gave up his entire life for me to move to the farm, it was only fair that I tagged along to Colorado.
“Wherever you go becomes a part of you somehow.” -Anita Desai
Just a few short weeks later we ended up in Arizona for Marc's graduation from ASU. The moment the plane's wheels hit the runway I felt at home. This was where I needed to be. On a whim, we met with one of Marc's mentors. He asked the question we had yet to ask ourselves, "Why have you not considered Arizona State for grad school?" We didn't have an answer. Marc was set on Colorado, but that was the moment I saw something change. The desert began to call him too.
Of course we aren't ruling out Colorado, we just aren't heading there right now. But who knows where the next few years will take us. I used to say I would never leave the ocean. I used to say I would never move to the midwest; I could never be landlocked. I couldn't imagine ever wanting to move to Arizona. I loved Seattle rain, how could I ever move away?
I cherish every moment we have spent here at the farm. Moving here has taught me to let go of every negative thing in my life. I no longer fear the unknown. I no longer stress about things I have no control over. I know the universe has a plan for me, and I will end up exactly where I need to be. Dill Farms has done so many amazing things for us and I cannot wait to bring our future family here. I refuse to let this be the end of Dill Farms. But for now, it is time for us to go chase more dreams.